Get 31% more done by being happy

I enjoyed dinner and drinks last week with a long time friend, Ginger Jenks.  Ginger has been coaching executives for almost 20 years now and knows a thing or two about making things happen.  

Ginger explains her model pretty simply.  If you want to make great things happen, you personally need to know what a great thing is. In other words: What makes you happy?  What is your true purpose?  Think about it while watching this musical exploration of Purpose from the Broadway Musical Avenue Q.  Sounds easy, but it’s not. Making money is not many people’s true purpose.  Neither is having the biggest boat or even an island. Having the most friends? Maybe, but still not there.  Finding true purpose helps make the next steps easier.  

Ginger’s basic steps to finding your true purpose go something like this:

• Connect with people, more than a Facebook poke or Linkedin connection.
• Have resilience.  Just read my blog from last week to get more perspective on this.
• Show gratitude.  Thank others and help others.
• Maintain an attitude of deserving to win.

Studies show that people who are truly happy with what they are doing are 31% more effective than their peers.  Just think about that when you walk into your office.  A smile goes a long way!

Ginger shared with us her 3 to 1 positive to negative ratio.  For ever bad element of your day make sure you have 3 positives.  Now you may be thinking: how can that be possible?  But if you take the time and think about what makes you happy (the positives) you will see that its very doable, such as playing with your kids, walking the dog, meditating, watching Jimmy Fallon, donating to a charity, winning at online poker, going for a run.  The positives don't have to be Disney Worldesque, but mixing a few positive moments into what might amount to an otherwise negative day will change your mindset and move your outlook on the situation.

Ginger’s happy place is with her prize-winning dogs.

Please share some examples of little things you have programmed into a bad day.

I leave you one parting story.  A psychologist put two kids in separate rooms which each had a pile of dog poop and nothing else.  When they opened the door to each room an hour later, the first kid was crying and sick to his stomach from the smell; but the second kid - the optimistic one - was digging in the poop.  When they asked him what he was doing, he said “I’m looking for the puppy!”

Be the optimist in the situation.  It will likely increase your ability to get the results you want.

Thanks for reading.

Rising From Hell and Learning from It

Last week I had the distinguished opportunity to dine with one of the most optimistic people I have ever met, Ishmael Beah, author of A Long Way Gone, Memoirs of a Boy Soldier.  As Ishmael told his harrowing story, he maintained an infectious grin and positive attitude. My friends and I, who avidly listened to his stories, walked away feeling that anything is possible, we should always look at the bright side of life, and we should never give up.  Ishmael lives life to the fullest, always smiles, and is expecting his first child.  But life wasn’t always this way for my new friend.

“In the sky there are always answers and explanations for everything: every pain, every suffering, joy and confusion.”
― Ishmael Beah, A Long Way Gone

So let me tell you about some of his bad days and the stories he shared with me:

When Ishmael was 11 years old, his whole family was killed by warlords in Sierra Leone. He wandered aimlessly for 2 years because no one would take him in. At 13, warlords coercively recruited him to fight in the civil war. Ishmael’s training concluded when he was told to kill a prisoner with a knife while staring into his eyes. He was encouraged by hearing, “If you blink you get shot!”. He committed his first murder and became a boy soldier.

Ishmael’s new “family” gave him his own gun and made him take cocaine mixed with gunpowder. He was told to just keep pulling the trigger. He had no idea if he was shooting his side or the other side - not that there was much of a difference in this civil war. When his gang smelled food cooking, they would kill the family eating it and then have dinner at their table.

Ishmael lived his life not knowing if he would be alive the next morning. Fortunately, through mostly luck and a little arrogance, he was rescued by UNICEF, adopted by a New York woman, and brought to the United States. He assimilated into NY society, went on to law school, wrote books, lived life as one of the 1%, and continues to smile all the time.

My take-aways from an evening with Ishmeal Beah:

• Smile!
• Life can be really hard but just around the curve it will change for the better.
• Always be thankful for what you have.
• Hug your children every chance you can.
• When given an opportunity, take it with all your heart.  If Ishmael hadn’t spoken up during his interview he would not be alive today.
• In our lives few decisions are life or death. Make a decision and move on. Don’t dwell on the past.

The world is screwed up. It’s easy to live in a bubble not hearing stories like this or not paying attention to them when we do.  It is almost impossible to comprehend the chance of getting killed for your meal tonight. We need to open our eyes and at least do one thing to make the world better.

I would love to hear your stories about helping to make the world better.

“When I was young, my father used to say, ‘If you are alive, there is hope for a better day and something good to happen. If there is nothing good left in the destiny of a person, he or she will die.’ I thought about these words during my journey, and they kept me moving even when I didn’t know where I was going. Those words became the vehicle that drove my spirit forward and made it stay alive.”
― Ishmael Beah, A Long Way Gone